The Letter

That night, after finding Dorain, I had to go to work. The tables I was serving, I'm sure, were frustrated. My mind just wasn't in it, I couldn't think of anything else and I was moving so slowly! I had gotten the worst tips of my life that night. I understand being frustrated with a server, I don't think people understand that we only make $2.17 an hour though! People need to realize that 18% should be the lowest tip given nowadays, I usually tip 25%. Anywho, back to the story... So I got home from work that night and my mom told me that she had some stuff that Dorain had given them before I was born. It was a letter and some poems. This letter showed me how hard it really was for her to give me up. She loved me so much, enough to give me up to a family that she knew would be able to give me more. She had already stopped speaking with my birth father, her relationship with her father was horrible, and she just didn't have any support. It wasn't a situation that she wanted to raise a baby in.

This letter made me feel for her. I couldn't imagine having to give up your baby. I mean I would understand it being easier for someone in their teens, someone who has a lot more to lose if they keep the baby. Dorain was older, she'd graduated from high school and gotten some of her life out of the way, so I know she didn't give me up cause she was selfish for time. She wanted me, she just couldn't take care of me the way she wanted to.

I was talking to my parents before I read the letter, they said that one of their saddest memories with Dorain was after the first time meeting her. They dropped her off at the train station, she was only two weeks away from having me, and she was all by herself. She had no one to go home to, no one to help her on the train, just by herself. When I heard this, it broke my heart. She really did care so much and went through so much to make sure that I had the life she wanted me to have.

THANK YOU DORAIN!!! Thank you for thinking of me rather than yourself when you gave me a home! I truely do appreciate it, and although I am sad that I didn't get to know you while I was growing up, I am glad that we have time now to get to know each other. It's like an extra little part of me has been opened up, a new compartment to my life that I had little information about, and now I can learn everything I want to. Or at least a lot of what I want to.

My Birth Mother and New Little Brother

This is a picture of my mother and little brother. I think I have similar eyes to her and the same nose. She told me that I have my fathers smile.

I Found Her

Ok, so here is my story. I was born in Oceanside, CA on March 19, 1987. My mother was 20 years old and had no support from her family or my father... so she did what she needed to do to give me the life that she wanted for me. I was given to Randy and Stacey Yagi, who have been two of the best parents any child could hope for. Yes, we have had some trials to go through, however, I feel like it has made me a much stronger person.

So I am now 23 and about five years ago was when I really started having a desire to find my birth mother. The main reason was to find out medical history and to figure out why I look the way that I do. As the years have passed by I have figured out that there could also be some personality traits and talents that I have gotten from her, so that gave me even more of a craving to find out where I come from!

Just the other day... Yesterday to be exact, I was watching that new t.v. show "Who Do You Think You Are". It is a show about celebrities who go back in their past to find out about their ancectry. It got me thinking about my mother again and I finally asked my parents for her full name. I always knew that they knew her but I never really asked. So, after finding out her name I thought I would google her to see if I could find an address to write to or a phone number to call but I got nothing. I then wondered if she would possibly be on facebook... I searched her name and only one Dorain Cassell came up. She graduated high school in '85 which made sense because my parents said that she was 20 when I was born, then it said that she attended El Camino High School. I googled that and found that there was an El Camino High in Oceanside, CA. Ding, ding, ding, we had a winner. So I wroter her a message,
"Hi
I'm sitting here with my mom and dad, Randy and Stacey Yagi. I was asking my mom about my birth mother and got your name and thought I'd see if you were on facebook. Please write back if you would like to chat.
Ellie"

I heard back from her about an hour and a half later confirming that she was my birth mother. I couldn't believe it. I was so happy but at the same time really nervous. This has been something I had been wanting to find out for years and here it was in just moments. Facebook works miracles!!! HAHA. So I found my birth mother and found out that on top of that I have a little brother, another little brother! His name is Lucas and he is 16. I am just starting to get to know them and I am planning on traveling to visit them in May. I will keep posting all interesting information!